Sunday, July 20, 2003
never expected paradigma to be tt interesting. im not speaking of the real thing. im speaking of wat happened after tt with abang. i dunno. guess its my first time so im still a bit shocked by it.
i dunno wats happening to my life rite now
i dunno abt feli. dunno wat she is thinking in her head. dunno whether she understood wat i said.
i dunno abt farid.
i dunno why i attract unwanted attention.
maybe its just tt i want to. secretly. all i want is attn. nothing more but attn. and when i dun get it, i get really pissed
yest i called feli after the whole thing. was waiting for i dunno wat la. waiting for her to be sympathetic. guess she was. i shld have called su!!! urgh!!! but she dun understand. cos well i guess she was brought up diffly. and i supposed to meet her. but then i didnt want to in the end. so i went out with the ML ppl instead. which turned out to be better. think that 14 of us connected la. it was somethign traumatizing and all of us knew abt it. n all of us stayed there. stayed there right thru it. and i think i'm beginng to see haekal in a new light. a serious light. its like i was shocked at how he handled himself yest. i dun see why the others think that haekal and hasanul can't handle the situatn. i find tt haekal is the most experience. he is the sort of guy who knows when to eb serious n when to play. and i admire tt. i admire the way he handled things yest. its amazing how u can connect with someone so fast in one day. think something really passed btw us yest. but dunno la if it will grow. i hope it will. i dunno. cos i can picture future with him. and mayeb he will make me 4get abt feli.
--insignificant lies--
4:40 pm
